Local Shit – Ridgewood Savings Bank

Ridgewood Savings Bank seems to only have branches in New York, so a lot of you have probably never seen these low budge crapfests.  (Like I have readers outside of the tri-state area… or in the tri-state area…)

So Nappy Gilmore (“He doesn’t even have hair, racist!”) lines up for a putt.  There’s a slight break to the left, let’s hope he’s factored that into this approach… where’s he going?  Someone must have fucked up his concentration by yelling “mashed potatoes!”

Oh, ya know what?  He actually just had the sudden realization he forgot to pay his mortgage.  I mean, yeah, that’s something people often “forget” to do.  How do you forget something like that and remember it on the golf course?  He clearly wasn’t concentrating hard on that putt.  Now he only has 20 minutes to get his cart to the local Ridgewood!  I’d imagine he’s gonna drive pretty recklessly.  I hope that cart is insured by Geico.

Ha!  Yeah right! Get with the times, Nap, Ridgewood has mobile banking now… because they’re a bank and it’s 2012.  Not only can you pay your mortgage from the palm of your hand, you can check balances, and transfer funds.  His friend kindly points this all out… then some lemonade wench butts in and tells him he needs to download the app to his phone or tablet… because I’m sure tons of guys bring their tablets to the links.  Also, mind your own goddamn business tuts, you don’t work for Ridgewood, you sell lemonade, a job that can literally be held by 5 year olds… but not me.  I’m not even qualified to sell lemonade.

With that weight off his back, our boy sinks his putt and does a subdued take on a Tiger Woods fist pump…

His friend is now bitter he told him about the app.  He’d sooner watch his friend lose his house than get outscored on the 8th hole.  Then, they just drive through the fairway like they own the place.

The acting in this one is pretty shitty, but ultimately it’s a good commercial… It’s just refreshing to see another African American golfer.  Before Tiger, the only black guys I’d ever seen on the green were Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley…

and this dude, my favorite actor of all time…

The actors in this commercial can take a lesson from this dude.  Look at the little confident nod at the end of his line delivery.  He knows he killed it.

I bet if Ridgewood had a do-over they’d cast that dude, and this guy…

Shit, I’d do my banking with Ridgewood and there isn’t even one within an hour of me.  No worries, Ridgewood has mobile banking!  Ah, ya see, it all comes full circle. (NOTE – That was all a lie, I’m broke as fuck.)

I see this one from time to time as well…

These two broads fight over the bill, but Yellow Shirt gives up wayyyyy too easily.  She knew what she was doing.  I respect her grind.  I use this one from time to time.  Make the initial offer so it looks like you’re a good person, and when the other person insists, back down.

All of a sudden it registers that she might not have enough in her account to pay for lunch.  And blah blah, and the friend shows the app, and the Waiter is naturally a shill for Ridgewood, and blah blah, and who cares.  Not enough golf.  She checks it out and realizes she has enough to pay and they all live happily ever after.  I bet you’re wondering what they had for lunch.  Yellow Shirt had the chicken alfredo, Short Hair had the steak and ???

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