Terrible Music Tuesday – Hyundai Summer Drive Deals

This will be summer’s swan song here on More Like Badvertising, aka Conz Hates Commercials: a “fine” WordPress.com site, aka Sir Lucious L. Leftfoot, aka that blog ya momma warned you about (J/K, ya momma ain’t never read this site.)

This is standard fare as far as car commercials go… nah, wait… something’s bugging me about it.  What is it?  Oh I know…

That friggin song!!!  How do I know that friggin song, you ask?  Well, probably because it’s been on every friggin thing ever made!

Cobrastyle is the name of the song.  It’s by the group Teddybears… featuring Mad Cobra, we can’t forget about Mad Cobra, without him it would just be called style.  It’s like the Baha Men’s version of Bawitdaba by Kid Rock, and it is fuckin prolific…

According to Wikipedia, Cobrastyle has appeared on episodes of Entourage, Las Vegas, Grey’s Anatomy, Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, The Black Donnellys, Chuck, Primeval, Dancing With the Stars, The Unusuals, So You Think You Can Dance, Teen Wolf and Friends.

It was recently adopted as the national anthem of Trinidad and Tobago…

It is featured in the films Employee of the Month, Epic Movie, After the Sunset, The Honeymooners, Man of the Year, The Benchwarmers, Bee Movie, College Road Trip, Free Style, Date Night, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and Megamind.

Cobrastyle was the go to movie trailer song for years… until this came out…

That song bangs hard in the whip though, kid.  Hard.

See, when you really think about it, it’s kinda easy to respect bands like Teddybears… I mean besides picking that terrible name of course.  This the type of music you should want to record — shit that will get played in movies and in stadiums for decades.  Fuck your shitty band and your artistic integrity.  Write the next YMCA, you’ll be caking for life in residuals.  Cobrastyle still sucks the hairiest of the balls though…  I’d rather suck cobra venom out of your ass cheek than listen to this song again… Ladies!

It has been used in advertising campaigns for Heineken, Tab Energy, Secret deodorant, Nissan Rogue, Vodafone Ireland, Microsoft Kinect and Biotherm, as well as Hyundai.

I copied all of that from Wikipedia, and I’m far too lazy to remove the hyperlinks, so read up on Teen Wolf and Tab Energy!  The links are right there for you!

“You know anyone can post on Wikipedia, right? Not everything is factual.”

Nicely done Hyundai, way to break the mold.  Bad enough you straight jacked Honda’s steez and logo “What?  You’re crazy, we italicized it! Totally different!” Now you’re using a song that’s been in 40 other commercials and movies.

And where the hell was Jeff Bridges’s narration on this one?  I thought he was the voice of Hyundai?  Hopefully he’s focusing on acting again.  I have a great three-quel pitch for him…

Flynn is back in that computer game grid universe thing… his attempt to contact his douche son is somehow intercepted by a portly arcade addicted bodega cashier, and now it’s up to her to save his life.  Jeff Bridges and Gabourey Sidibe in…

Rated R for Rotund.

I can have a treatment ready by next week.  I already spoke with Gabourey’s people and they said she’d be thrilled to work with Bridges… as her weight demands she avoid them at all costs in real life.  You see, this is why you should be reading this blog.  No one else is making “Gabourey Sidibe is fat” jokes!  That is some truly groundbreaking stuff.

“Speaking of ‘groundbreaking,’ she breaks ground everywhere…”  Don’t.  Leave the lame jokes to me, ok pal?

Hyundai could be in the terrible music Hall of Fame.  Remember these broads?

and who can forget this asshole?

I’ll give Hyundai props for keeping “Christ” in “Christmas,” because every time those came on TV, I screamed his name at the top of my lungs.  Not looking forward to this Holiday season…

I think it’s safe to say that thanks to their music choices, Hyundai might have the worst commercials of any car company.  That’s pretty ironic (again, it’s probably not) considering their best selling model is called the “Sonata.”

“Actually, the Elantra is Hyundai’s best selling model…”

I bet you read that on Wikipedia, didn’t you?  Hypocrite.

Speaking of Hippos… Gabourey Sidibe  Eh?  Right?!

There was a Hyundai commercial last year that had music that directly ripped off the Super Mario Brothers 3 level select theme.  I looked forever and I couldn’t find it.. Google doesn’t even bring back any hits on it, except this dude’s blog http://jordanmunson.tumblr.com/post/5207489878/the-song-in-the-new-hyundai-commercial-is-remarkably

Props to that dude for apparently being the only other person alive who noticed it.  Instead of posting the commercial, I’ll post this Mario Paint version of the music in question, because apparently the real theme isn’t on the internet either…

I swear they straight Honda logoed it, but there’s no proof. I might seriously write a letter to Hyundai, or Nintendo, because I need to expose them. I don’t want you thinking I made it up, I have a reputation to uphold!  I may be a stunningly handsome, successful, intelligent lady-killer with a huge dong… but I will not be called a liar!

Alright, that’s long enough, I need to go and write the next Cobrastyle.

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