Terrible Music Tuesday – Samuel Adams “For the Love of Beer”

You like how I took the Holiday off like a real worker?  I actually don’t really even know what Labor Day is.  The only time my name and “labor” have been in the same sentence was when my mother was giving birth.

For the love of beer?  For the love of God!  This song is terrible.

This seems like a song that should be used in commercial with a guy staring at his newborn daughter or something, not a friggin beer ad.

Not only that, the song is called “Overwhelmed.”  Doesn’t that seem like a bad title for a song being used to advertise alcohol?  “I am o-ver-whelmed by you…”

I guess this song would have been too much… despite the Massachusetts connection.

Back to the commercial… What’s the deal with the random ass space cadet/bee keepers just chilling in the middle of the field toasting Fezzywigs?

There’s something really unsettling about that to me.  Why?  I have no idea.  Just seems like a shot from one of those “A Clockwork Orange” brainwashing videos.

Look how much fun Wooly Willy and his buddy have at work.  They’re just dicking around, putting their mitts all over the hops, drinking on the clock… and giving each other bunny ears?  That’s the type of thing only a 5 year old would laugh at… are they trying to appeal to 5 year olds?!  Methinks yes.

Then Willy just flat out oars a batch of beer with no hairnet on his goat gruff.  That seems like something you’d want to hide from people, not showcase in a commercial.

There are numerous shots of the Sam Adams Perfect Pint glass…  They act like this is the greatest scientific discovery of the 21st century.  Big fuckin deal, you shaped a cup that an entire beer can fit in.  They also act like it enhances the flavor of the beer… Bulllllllllshit.

This could be scientifically proven by NASA, and I still won’t believe it.  Go buy one of these pint glasses and have a taste test with your friends.  Have them drink a bottle of Sam, then pour one into the glass.  Guarantee the guy who claims he can tell the difference is the same schmuck who got “drunk” on O’Douls at that one High School party.

SIDDDDDEEE-TRACKKKKK – There are hundreds of Samuel Adams commercial spoofs on YouTube… as an unfunny guy with an unfunny blog(yeah right, I’m hilarious), I have to let you know… they aren’t funny.  You’re not funny.  Stop cluttering my search results for fucks sake.  It took me 10 minutes to find a real goddamn commercial.

I did find this video though…  5 million views…

Fuck the children of America for encouraging this.  Annie Lennox is rolling over in his grave.  “Annie Lennox is a she, and isn’t dead!”  Also, this “rapper’s” name is “Sam Adams,” not “Samuel Adams.”  Why the fuck is he the number one search result for “Samuel Adams?!”  Fix your tagging system YouTube, the people (person) expect timely blog posts from me and you’re fucking with my schedule.

Back to the commercial…

It ends with that familiar shot of Samuel Adams’ founder Jim Koch falling into the beer dunk tank aka the “bukkakke shot.”

I hate this song so much…

Apparently Tim McMorris is the guy who sings it.  Here’s his pic…

Admit it; you would have never guessed he looked like that.  You were picturing a clean cut whitey, not a gelatto.  (His father is black and his mother is German… No idea if that’s true, I just want “gelatto” to catch on as an obscure racial slur.)  Gelato, mulatto?  No?  You’re gonna use it and you know it.

“It’s just never-ending black jokes with you isn’t it, Conz?”

Don’t worry, I’m gonna be cutting back soon. I even stopped going to my weekly meetings (It’s a faux pas to wear white after Labor Day.)

Samuel Adams is pretty overrated beer in my opinion.  Some people swear by Boston Lager, but I don’t really get it…  And there are few things more obnoxious than people’s reaction to their liquor store restocking Octoberfest.  Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year” (Apologies to Jewishes) not the day Bottle King tosses a shitty $10 six pack in their fridge.  It’s ok, don’t get me wrong, but there are plenty of other fall (or “Autumn” for you pretentious assholes who say “Autumn.”) beers that are much better… but I’m not a “sophisticated” beer drinker.

I’ll end this ramble with an “overwhelmed” individual set to some classical music…


1 thought on “Terrible Music Tuesday – Samuel Adams “For the Love of Beer”

  1. Pingback: Terrible Music Tuesday – Samuel Adams Octoberfest | Conz Hates Commercials

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